Today was a day of deep contemplation, grief, and witnessing.
I walked the perimeter of Bluff Lake Rd. at Noxubee, something I never do. And within that walk Spirit revealed many things to me.
The road seemed long at times, I played The Blind Boys of Alabama, and the music worked with Spirit, in tandem with the Ancestors, and the DIvine Love of God to send a message to me for survival.
When Spirit speaks I listen. But to know its arrival, requires stillness. The griever in touch with Nature is an enigmatic soul to non-grievers. They wonder why they avoid social gatherings that are not required for their job or promotion. They wonder why they don’t seek human connection. It is because in Nature there is a stillness that is missing from the fracas of human connection. The frenetic, often inauthentic energy from fellow humans is not a investment the griever is willing to provide.
Ain’t gonna let nobody, turn me round, Lord, Turn me round, turn me round, Ain’t gonna let nobody, turn me round, I just keep on a-walkin’, keep on a-talkin’, Marching up on freedom land.
Ain’t gonna let no jailhouse, turn me round, Turn me round, turn me round, Ain’t gonna let no jailhouse, turn me round, Oh, I, keep on a-walkin’, keep on a-talkin’, Marching on to freedom land.
I can’t let segregation, turn me round, Turn me round, turn me round, Ain’t gonna let segregation, turn me round, I’m gonna keep on a-walkin’, keep on a-talkin’, Marching on to freedom land.
It has been a while since I updated here and it is not because I have not been birding. On the contrary, I have been birding every single day. It is just that I am maintaining my other blog spatialhuman.org, plus I have began a podcast called Random Nature. Those things have taken up a lot of my time.
Plus I started my new job 🙂
For now though I will provide you with pictorial views of my happenings since I last posted. Happy Fall Migration!
My backyard birds have also been very friendly. Especially since I created the best birdfeeding station I could think of on a budget. I dragged an old, but sturdy branch across the yard and affixed it to my side porch door where instead of lawn there is groundcover and lots of small tree cover.
I am very blessed to be in community with these beautiful birds.
An update is in order! I moved to Starkville, Mississippi on July 1 with my two cats Gimley and Woodstock.
And I have had the chance to see lots of charismatic species because Starkville is located near Noxubee National Wildlife Refuge
Note that in the gallery directly above that the Green Heron and Osprey were sighted at Gulf Shores National Wildlife Refuge, located in Ocean Springs, Mississippi. I drove down there on July 15 after having a challenging grief day the prior night. I am first and foremost a grieving birder and those closest to me know that my Angelson’s Day of Ascension is August 3. The day he passed away. His death day. I chose to call it D.O.R.A (Day of Ricky’s Ascension).
This being known, as the day draws closer, I know I need to have a place to meditate and reflect on that day. It is the 2nd one I have had to experience and unlike the 1st, where my daughter and I traveled to a place we all used to live in Missouri, this year I am going alone.
This place, Gulf Shores National Seashore is filled with beautiful Live Oak trees that provide their own ecosystems for plants and animals. Resurrection Fern grows on them.
“This remarkable plant can lose about 75 percent of its water content during a typical dry period and possibly up to 97 percent in an extreme drought. During this time, it shrivels up to a grayish brown clump of leaves. When it is exposed to water again, it will “come back to life” and look green and healthy. The plant gets its name from this supposed “resurrection,” but it never actually dies during the process. By contrast, most other plants can lose only 10 percent of their water content before they die. Fronds are typically 4 to 12 inches (10 to 30 centimeters) in length.”
The National Wildlife Federation
This plant inspires me and it grows on the Live Oak in my new yard in Starkville. I find myself staring at it all day. Hoping the rain comes to replenish it over and over. There is a metaphor for life and grief in there somewhere.
There were so many juvenile Eastern Bluebirds near those trees.
After I left Gulf Shores National Wildlife Refuge, I drove over to the public beach access in Ocean Springs.
“the death of the body and the brain are not the end of consciousness, that human experience continues beyond the grave. More important, it continues under the gaze of a God who loves and cares about each one of us and about where the universe itself and all the beings within it are ultimately going.”
Alexander III M.D., Eben. Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife (p. 9). Simon & Schuster.
This has been some Spring Migration! I saw all kinds of warblers! My birder friends saw Indigo Buntings, Ruby-throateds! I saw Orchard Orioles, Baltimore Orioles, Golden Wing Warblers, the works!!
Unlike last spring and summer I was in North Carolina. Not this year. I have been settled in Lincoln where I live for the time being mostly because I just graduated with my PhD. Check out spatial human for that.
Well today is the Global Big Day and the weather here in Lincoln, Nebraska is amazing and Spring Migration is in full swing. People are seeing all kinds of birds. The rarities list from ebird continues to astound. I mean we should have known right? That Stellars Sea Eagle was an omen of more amazing birds to come!
I spent my Global Big Day at Stagecoach Lake Recreation Area and began my bird walk at around 10am. I saw many beautiful birds. And here they are:
Here are photos of birds I have seen between May 9-May 12:
As a general rule, birds are seen as a conduit between the terrestrial and divine realms. They serve as a spiritual bridge connecting the heavenly and terrestrial realms.
I am grateful on this day and all days. Though I carry my grief with me in all the things I do, I remember the phrase that keeps me going in honoring my son in Heaven:
Make everything as beautiful as him
Today is Easter. It is a holiday that parents know all too well. For those who observe, it is a holiday that involves church attendance and leading up to it…well, Easter Baskets, Easter Egg Hunts, and favors to pass out for classmates before Easter vacation from school.
This Easter is special because it aligns with several other religious holidays: Passover, Ramadan and more.
Those who follow this blogspace know that I am very spiritual and that despite my not attending church, I have a special relationship with my faith, which is an amalgam of New Age Christianity, Buddhism, and elements of Sufism.
Nothing is separate from God. My faith, even in the midst of profound loss is firm.
You might even think of faith as symbiosis or sympoiesis: faith is the relationship between the Egyptian plover bird and the crocodile, the wasp and the orchid, microbial civilizations in our guts and the memories we process. The water buffalo is the kasaya of the oxpecker; the ostrich is the yarmulke of the zebra. Faith means that bodies need bodies in order to thrive and in order to die well. It is coalitional, alliance-making, world-shaping, co-creative work. We live and breathe and die in faith.
As we prepare to go into another week of mysteries, possibilities, yearnings, and receivings. let us remember this Earth, its abundant beauty, and the inheritance we hold to sustain it even in chaotic times.
It is Earth Week!
I will close this with my latest images of birds and landscape in Nebraska.
I recently drove back to Lincoln, Nebraska from Tucson on February 28. And while driving through southeastern Colorado, I realized I would never take the trip again.
December 31, 2021 heading to Tucson.
You see, I will be relocating to the southeast in the summer to begin a tenure track Assistant Professor job(big announcement to come on my real name twitter) so I will not be driving to Lincoln, or from Lincoln ever again July 2022.
I came to Tucson on New Years Eve to avoid the polar vortex that often befalls Nebraska in winter. As a griever and a naturalist, it is incredibly hard for me to keep the faith in temperatures that hurt your face. The birdsong is gone, the clouds are grey and it is dangerous to go outside. If my strength and hope comes from the beauty and soundscape of nature, then winter in Nebraska during freezing cold would deplete me emotionally. I knew I had a dissertation to finish writing and I needed good vibes to motivate me. So it was important that I go to Tucson.
My family was against my doing this. Mostly because of the costs, but also because it seemed incredibly complicated and unorthodox. My family is VERY conventional. I did not have much money because I’d just paid my bills and I’d provided my daughter with a lot of resources before I left. I ended up borrowing money from my older sister, mom, and a friend in order to make my trip. I am grateful for their generosity.
The airbnb I stayed in while in Tucson
I have a trusted friend who lives in Tucson, but she lives in a senior community so it would not have worked for me to stay with her. But she was kind to let me do my laundry at her house while there and chill with her, when I needed a change of scene.
A kind person at University of Arizona helped me to find a study space while there.
In a way I knew my time in Tucson would be special. THe first weekend I was there I spotted a rare bird, the Crested Caracara. I was heading down to Buenos Aires National Wildlife Refuge. It was beside the road feeding. What made its appearance rare was the time of the year and how north it was.
I also saw the Elegant Trogon in Portal while there. This is a very sought after bird.
Elegant Trogons are one of the most sought-after birds by bird watchers in the U.S., They breed regularly in only four mountain ranges in Arizona: the Atascosas, Chiricahuas, Huachucas, and Santa Ritas.
It has been some time since I have update here. I apologize! Fall 2021 was a doozy. I had a number of contract commitments while still maintaining my dissertation research which I undertook in October in N.C.
You may be wondering why or how it is that I get to be in Tucson. I mean after all I am a perpetually broke PhD candidate who pieces together contracts and PT jobs to stay afloat. Plus I have a college aged daughter and a son in Heaven whose legacy is on me to sustain and expand.
Well when I get a windfall back in September 2021 from one of my contracts, I paid half of the fee to stay in a room in the Poet’s Square neighborhood of Tucson. It is a shared bathroom and everyone in the house is 3X vaxxed.
While I am here I am writing my dissertation, teaching online for N.C. A&T, and BIRDING.
So here are some shots I have gotten so far in Arizona!
Not birds 🙂
Of course my drive to Tucson was something else.
But I made it in safely on New Years Eve. I stayed with my friend Sandi Hart the first two days before moving over to the airbnb that I booked.
In the months of September and October, I embarked on a eastern seaboard fall bird migration trip that took me to the Eastern Shore of Virginia and Maryland as well as Barnstable and Provincetown on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. It was important for me to take this trip because it preceded my intense dissertation writing that takes place in November and December. I am from North Carolina, but I live in Nebraska as that is where I am attaining my PhD in Geography (historical). You all know from my about section that I am a bereaved mom and mystic birder, so going hundreds of miles to follow the birds should not really surprise anyone.
It did make some people think I was insane, namely my parents and siblings. My mother was mostly concerned about the costs, but also the wear and tear on my newly acquired birdmobile, the Volkswagen Golf. But I explained to my mom that cars are for driving! As long as I keep it serviced, all is good. Alles gut (As they say in Germany).
It was an important trip. I had moments on the beach admiring the scenes of nature and also being one with God and the Spirit of my dear son Ricky who now lives in two places, my heart and in Heaven.
I cried. I cried a lot. But I also received the messages of hope that God always sends.
I saw so many Gulls! I also saw White Winged Scoters! But my trip sadly coincided with an arriving Nor’easter, so I believe some of the birds I would have seen, I did not see because the weather might have marooned them elsewhere.
What the gulls taught me was to float along with life’s currents. God knows the grief journey is gut wrenching, filled with anguished, and inherently isolating. But the image of the gull floating along, not a care let me know that I was in the Loving Hands of God and to lean into his Holy Embrace.